Parents Corner

Parents with Child at TableAll couples facing divorce bear a difficult burden. Emotions can be overwhelming when a couple is forced to decide matters that involve complex feelings. Add to this complexity that some of the decisions must be made in the shadow of issues that are deeply painful. And couples with children have an added burden of making their decisions within a context of “what is best for the children”. Just pondering this concern can be the most emotionally upsetting of all simply because the stakes are so high for the entire family.

Your children’s perspective during your divorce is vital in coming to the right decisions for your family. Sadly, you cannot ask your children about their feelings. First, they cannot give them accurately because they love you both so much and they desperately do not want to be alienated from either of you. Many times a child says to each parent whatever their frightened and tender hearts tell them they should say at that moment.  Oftentimes what they say can be contradictory. Second, and most important, a child should NEVER be burdened with making adult decisions. A child never should be placed in a position of choosing sides or picking a path ahead. Placing a child in this position may do irreparable harm to him or her emotionally. In the aftermath of the conflict, the child’s ability to have authentic and emotionally rewarding intimate relationships as an adult may permanently be impaired. No parent would want to do this.

Parent’s corner offers resources for your use in making decisions. Videos, essays, blogs and testimonials are available in Parent’s Corner to help you know the path ahead. Most of the videos and essays have been made available by the generosity of Charlie and Barb Asher of These videos and writings can be of assistance to you in discovering “what is best for the children”. Many involve direct “testimony” of children about their feelings on a wide range of divorce-related issues.  Every parent, in even the most contentious and pain filled divorce, wants what is best for their children. But, and sadly, sometimes it is nearly impossible to know this without help.

At Heartland Family Mediators our mediation method is child centered, family focused and committed to assist couples in finding peace in the aftermath of this most difficult experience of their lives. All couples are encouraged to take time to review these resources as a source of light to what may appear now to be hopeless darkness in the path ahead. At Heartland Family Mediators we are certain that if you have a focus on the children if there are any, and if you focus on Peace in all cases, the difficulty of navigating your divorce will be lessened because you will be free to write your own story.

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Heartland Family Mediators

5347 N College Avenue, #109
Indianapolis, IN 46220 USA
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